I and Me

You say "I", I say "Me"....you say "lie", I say "who Me", you say "why can't I", I say "can't be 'cause real is Me", you say "I heard", I say "I doesn't really know Me to believe such a story". I is you, you aren't Me so I can believe as you please but Me is free from we.

LASTLY

Last word, last thought, last breath.....they all equal the last moments of death. Whether hateful, loving, caring, sincere, deceitful, or true.......you are the only control of YOUR last word and last thought before your last breath....then death. Think wise, think forward, think happy, think true, think love, think first with each unpredictable step......you can't rewind but you can rethink your last word, last thought, last breath before death.

Your Wonderland

As he whispers lightly but firm into my ear,
A tinglin’ sensation feels my body with feelings so clear,
He touches my neck with his sweet, soft lips, I melt,
And gently caresses my body with his fingertips, I’m felt.
Words unsensored, our conversation flows smooth like a sweet melody,
Our bodies intertwined like the beautiful harmony of tones in my favorite love song.
No limits to the places he takes my body and mind,
Endless knowledge and depth revealed with each passing moment of time.
Always absorbing his presence to learn more to grow closer to his wonderland,
Where his heart, soul, and mind roam freely in the paradise, barefoot in the sand.
He graces my face with smiles each day, he might not even fully know,
My mind is curious, patient, and willing to witness the potential unfold and grow.
Growing and learning together I know you see ME,
Sweet darlin’ I see you, and your wonderland is where I yearn to be.

MY ROMEO

Gentle and kind he is to me,
Thoughtful and careful he practices each day for me,
Love and loyalty he gives to me,
Patience and time he knows are worthy of me.
Hugs and kisses are not provided in vain,
There to provide security amongst the rain,
Though times get tough, he sticks with me,
Because he knows that with me is where he wants to be.
No broken promises, no forgiveness bought,
With every step he takes, it is I that remains in his thought,
When he hears my name he smiles with favor,
Because no one can cause doubt, no word, no hater.
Anyone can doubt the love that grows stronger with each day,
Irrelevance to those, as it shines brighter than a sun ray.
He is mine, I am his, unwavering and true,
There is no obstacle that will ever stop us
on our journey from each beautiful view.

My #1 HATA

It must be tough for you each day you wake,
as the first thoughts you have must be of me, before you bake.Its got to be tedious making up shit to say bout me that ain't true,
'cause you spend so much time bein' consumed with me, we all know now, ain't nothin' new wit you.
If you'd spend less time with ya mouth bein' on ya bullshit,you could spend more time down on ya knees doin' ya job, suck those dicks, then spit.
I laugh at you 'cause you can't seem to stop, each day you fabricate a new story, however the jokes gon' be on you one day when ya hoe ass end up on Maury.
So keep on ya hatin' ass job, you a trip, ain't nothin' changed....ya can't make a hoe a housewife now try that out for starters, its gon' hesitate comin' off your lip.
Now take that REAL TRUTH and suck another dick.

Defeating the Foe

There's a lot goin' on in my life, and though not all good, I'm determined to keep my spirit healthy. Believing that everything happens for a reason helps because even though I might not quite understand it all just yet, I know it was meant to happen no matter how horrific it may be at times. I've been challenged to remain ME at all costs, and though that sounds like one of the easiest tasks, I find myself in places in my life, unplanned and unpredicted, that will cause you to feel like being the person you strive not to be for the safety of your own integrity, and others........I'm determined not to fail the test and become 'someone else' that causes detriment to my spirit no matter how tempting the possible outcome may be. Reminding myself daily that no matter what I hear, words mean nothing to me, words are but a mere possibility of fact, but not guaranteed as worthy of heart's trust. Like momma told me recently, "sticks and stones, Berachah".......such a simple phrase with such a big meaning. I will remain the wonderful, always improving and growing, individual I am. The only one that is able to truly bring me down is MYSELF, no one else. With the strength of God, I am able to overcome anything in my path. After all, I really do have better things to do then worry about people that are NO LONGER a part of MY life. In the words of Kevin Hart.......backspace....delete. lol

Hatred sparked is hatred spread quickly.....

Once a form of hatred has sparked it has the opportunity to be spread like a fatal wildfire.......not ending......relentless to any reasonable thought, love, mediation, or common sense that comes to extinguish it. I was speaking with a friend last night and we were talking about recent events that have caused a rally of more people reaking havic on my name for fabricated reasons unknown still, and in thought, wondered why it seems with age and wisdom (for most that actually mature past high school) that when someone is dimeaning someone's character for reasons that are usually unjustified that it seems to be almost like a hurricane or a storm rather than just a rain storm like back in the day. My theory is the millions of ways that social communication makes it extra easy for it to be a public endeavor rather than before when you didn't have as easy of access, if any access at all, to social networking/media. I absolutely love the freedom of speech and the fact that even as times have modernized, that we have so many ways to voice our opinions and thoughts and it's for all to see if we want it to be. The only problem with this is that all the hatred that stems from whatever and about whoever is nothin' but a click a way.....you can upload a video......post a status.....publish a blog....launch a website......air a newscast.....publish a book/magazine.......send an e-mail......send a text message......there is a plethora of one step away opportunities that have been created for both good and bad people to socially voice themselves for any and all reasons they see fit at any given time. There's typically no logical thought or 3-step process (Listen ->Think ->Speak) that takes place before you click the button, and after you click the button it is like a magical wand that 80% of people want to get their hands on for the power it can possibly exude in their lives. Comment here, share this, forward that.......all forms of potential retaliation if in the hands of the bad people with a little or lot of hatred or possibly just socially odd or out casted......creating potential explosions rather than just stones in the road to trip over. I kind of miss the days of simplicity......."telephone".......point and whisper........spread a small rumor to your little group of friends.....make a spiteful/disgusted face.....create a march for a cause.........those had an effect but nothin' like it is this day in age. These days if you aren't strong in mind and you have access to witness all the hatred spreading, whether it is about you or someone else, you might not mentally or emotionally make it. It isn't easy to ignore hatred this day in age, but you must be strong, know your worth, be sure of your actions being true. Don't fret because no matter what stories are fabricated or blown out of proportion about you to benefit someones hatred, you are YOU, and you have the option to continue being YOU or become a person that stoops down to their levels and lose who you are in the end.

Thoughts on the death of Osama bin Laden

I watched along with millions of other Americans, the news that Osama bin Laden has been killed. I find myself in shock that our nation is at all in joyous triumph regarding such news. So yes, maybe Osama was a bad man, orchestrated the attack on our country we call 911, and been in hiding for all of these years undetected. My questions are these: What exactly do you feel this supposed death has accomplished? Do we as a country believe the news we see? Do you believe that this death will now cease the plan that he may have had for our country in our future? Do you really believe that, if he is in fact dead, that he wasn't prepared for such an event, if it took place in his future? Do you believe that this death isn't fueling the fire within his followers to bring even more tragedy to our country with the amount of loyalty they had to this man and their country, AGAINST our country, to where they would choose to by martyrs for their country, as they did once before? I have the hardest time trying to figure out that if this man, who has caused so much tragedy in our country, was found, why it is we didn't bring his behind over here to force him and forward to our country the opportunity to pry this man for information to find out what may be in store, or who else may be in association with his plan that may have already infiltrated our country, as they did once before? Did we kill this man for lack of exposure, that it's possible that someone amongst us as a fellow American could have been in cahoots with Osama and to kill him was a better idea then him snitching? Why was he given death when men and women all across our country are held for trials for murdering of innocent people DAILY, but this man has to answer to no one because we didn't even make that an option? We didn't even give this man the option to say "I tell you nothing". We just killed the man without any scrutiny, punishment for what we have endured as a country with his supposed orders, or exposure? Do we as a country not believe that any information that this "terrorist" honcho may have had, whether good or bad, could have shed some light on the travesty we call 911 for all the people who fell victim of losing their lives or the family members who lost loved ones? That the victims would have maybe loved to have for their own personal reasons such information. #1: It seriously amazes me that it took us this long to find this man; #2: I am baffled at the fact he was given an easy way out when we don't even do the same for our fellow Americans; #3: Can you imagine how great some families/individuals would feel if the one's they accused of crimes against them, were immediately put to death without a single peep as to why, whether it be lie or not? I just can't wrap my head around how this supposed death is a come-up on our part as a nation. This also falls into my theory of fighting. 'MY THEORY: Almost every person has AT LEAST one "ride or die" person in their life, that if something came along to threaten the health or life of their person, that they wouldn't do everything in their power to make sure the offender/enemy would pay for what was done. A fight doesn't solve anything in my opinion. All that I see it doing is, once a fight happens, no matter who gets beat down the worst, you have the friends/family that will come to their aid to find resolution or revenge on the offender and in most cases, such comes in a multitude of animosity and anger. Fighting is a domino effect to cause more fighting and hatred.' So with that theory we have "killed Osama bin Laden", we have now thoroughly pissed off his followers, who are I'm sure, already filled with animosity toward our country. We stay overseas fighting this "war on terror" that is STILL going on and killing the Americans that continue to be sent over there, to accomplish who knows what, because we're going over there killing husband, wives, & children. Why is it their country isn't allowed to have animosity towards our country and act? They send a few people over here and kill many of our people but then we send multitudes of armed forces over there for YEARS on end doing this on a regular basis. I think they deserve to be a bit angry with our country. If roles were switched, we sure the hell would be. Does anybody else out there think that our eyes are being covered from certain truths that the leaders, we call government, don't really desire for us to know? It doesn't matter if you agree with my opinion or not but have you ever sat back and thought in different angles of this situation and not just in the way that our government and the media would prefer you to think? I don't quite care who this might offend because I have my opinion and I'm entitled to it. There are just so many questions that arise when I heard this news and quite honestly it scares me to think of what such action on our country may have set us up for in our future.

The thief disguised as a friend

Had a situation arise about a month ago, where money was stolen out of my purse behind my back, in MY house. When the incident occurred I found myself questioning my surroundings and eliminating suspects in the vicinity that night with my own method. The one person I suspected ultimately, because of the unique circumstances of where my money was located, I came to and straight out asked about it after days of brewing on it. When confronted I believe she was lying because she couldn't look me in my eyes and then quoted "I would never steal from you, Berachah." Though I still didn't believe her, I let the subject go and left it be for the time being because I KNOW, in time truth will always be revealed. Subsequent to this incident I found one day that my GPS, Ipod Shuffle (with my name engraved ON it), and movies were also stolen from me in my absence in the house. Upon my findings I was filled with fury. My heart was telling me what I felt I already knew and after further investigation, it was discovered that my roommate/good friend was the culprit, the thief I despised, the dishonest person in my life. After confronting her I later got my GPS and SOME of my movies returned. She still is claiming she didn't take the money or the Ipod but there is no coincidence that the Ipod came up missing at the same time as my GPS (which she couldn't pawn because it was password protected). There is no coincidence that she was the main suspect in the house the night my money was stolen. She can claim what she wants but I know better than that. I'm not a fool in smart shoes. Needless to say when confronting her she kept saying sorry but the words "I'm sorry" followed by actions of stealing from me when I've basically been your support for the past year is not acceptable or sincere in my opinion. Any true friend of mine knows that I'm one of the most helpful and generous people and if I have the means to help you out, within reasonable bounds, that I will upon your asking me nicely. There is no excuse for one to find themselves stealing from me. I in NO way will tolerate or excuse it for ANY reason! It's selfish and always gonna come back to ya. She and I are no longer friends because no matter the reason for her actions, no friend of mine would steal from me. I don't care if you were high as the furthest star in the sky off of whatever........that was YOUR choice to do, not mine. I'm still very angry about all of this and hurt by it but I figure another lesson learned. Once again I reached out my helping hand and once again I was burned for no good reason. The only satisfaction I get when burned is knowing that karma exempts no one from its wrath. He who steals will be stolen from. He who deceives will be deceived. He who lies with be lied to. He who disregards the love of a friend, will have a hard time finding love with another. I'm still on the look out for my Ipod. It is a little, white Ipod shuffle, with white earphones, and has my name "Berachah" engraved on it in gray because it was a gift. Any information about its whereabouts will be held in confidence and much appreciated. Moral of this blog: Be careful who you trust and listen to the friends around you trying to warn you.

The new job

Well so far so good on the job front. I started working on February 21, 2011 and love it thus far. The people I encounter on a day to day basis at work are awesome. Still yet to find someone mean and hope I don't. lol Great group of people to be such a large company. I'm learning an insane amount EVERY day but getting nothing but great feedback in regards to my work, so that is encouragement that I needed, with this new occupation. My goal with every job that I've had in my life it to make myself an asset to the company employing me. For me that is the wise thing to do. That a ways, if something were to happen with me losing my job, there is no negative thing they can say about me and the company losing me will feel the burn when I leave because I know I bring greatness to the table of occupation. I feel there is a large amount of expectation with this job and I'm doin' my best not to let the people counting on me down. I believe I'm doin' well. It is a humbling experience talking with patients day to day. Sometimes I'll find myself tired or moody and then I'll receive a phone call from a patient calling about their bill and telling me their story, and often times I find myself breaking down, feeling nothing but sympathy, adding to my special patient prayer list, and reminding myself how grateful I am and should remain for the health I do have. It could be gone in a second. This job is a blessing to me in many ways.